You Can’t Be Afraid of Losing.
Yoga has helped me figure out a lot of things.
For one, that even people over six feet tall can touch their toes. (So yes, that means you can, too, with enough practice and encouragement.)
One night, one lesson, one nugget of insight stands out in particular, though.
Usually overflowing with bad jokes we can’t help but laugh at, my yogi was overflowing with wisdom, sharing with us his tidbits of knowledge as we struggled through Baddha Parivritta Parshvakonasana. His words became my mantra for the next hour — mostly just so I wouldn’t forget to write down what he said.
He prefaced by telling the story of our generation’s Bobby Fischer, about how his winning strategy was simply that he wasn’t afraid of losing. Why was my yogi talking about chess when we’re supposed to be in a serene state of meditation? At the time, he was trying to make his point that we shouldn’t worry about hitting the floor when we attempt to do, say, Parivritta Ardha Chandrasana; about challenging ourselves to do our poses right and do what might feel unnatural and uncomfortable. That if we stop worrying about what could happen (falling into the person next to you creating a domino effect throughout the room, not catching your own fall, etc.), what should happen will fall into place.
Being the sweaty, contemplative and inward-thinking mess I was at the time, his point really stuck with me. And I kept coming back to it then. And I keep coming back to it now.
We can’t be afraid of losing.
We can’t let fear stand in the way.
The fear of falling down — the distrust of our own resilience and the lack in confidence that we can steadily and successfully pick ourselves back up again — can too easily hold us back from taking the leaps that can, and will, propel our lives forward. Looking that fear in the face and acting in spite of it can open you up to self-defining moments you may have never experienced otherwise.
This wisdom has since gently guided me to consciously make changes in how I’m choosing to live my life — subtle or otherwise — and be more open to unhesitatingly accept the change that involuntarily comes my way.
How?
Routine.
Perfecting the balance between the new and the old, the present and the future, comfort and anxiety. When we fear losing what we know and what is comfortable, we are simultaneously not letting live and closing doors to a whole other set of memories, experiences and opportunities.
In moving out of an apartment that feels so comfortable, in a place that felt so grounding, so much like home, and in leaving behind a routine to which I’d grown accustomed, I’ve let in so much more than I could have had I stayed snugly settled in a pattern that for two years had been creating a mediocre level of happiness.
Trying something new.
The more you have to lose, the harder it is to take risk, to swallow it, to rationalize it. But if you can feel the fear and do it anyway, you’ll learn something about yourself by just having taken the risk, in its success, in its failure — or some enlightening combination of the three.
Like x 1,000,000,000% What you did by leaving everything you knew to be safe and comfortable was incredibly brave and part of a huge learning process. I promise that, in no more than 5 years, you will look back in wonder at how brave and fruitful this mindset actually is!
I agree with Jess. You are so brave. And when you leap without fear (or in spite of it!), life responds in unexpected and marvelous ways.